The Dark Enigma

How goes your winter dreaming, friends? 

I feel summer close despite diving deeper into the dark waters of the season. My dreams have been filled with the laughing, yellow faces of Hypericum and Calendula. Of days when you can tell time by the flowers opening and closing. Of days with that certain kind of light that sparkles through the long grasses, numinous and unruly. 

These are not dreams of escape or longing, but of what waits deeper beneath. Even in these days of icy eyelashes and subdued sunrises, summer holds the hand of winter deep in the ground, more intertwined, less separate than we thought before. 

The lands we are traversing are getting stranger by the day. Apprenticing ourselves to the fluid intelligence of the Water element of winter feels particularly helpful in these polarized times. Water exists beyond our human compartmentalizing, flowing and moving around obstacles without striving. Water observes itself in all beings and is always returning home to itself; it is yin, yang, feminine, masculine, a beginning and an ending. 

Water is the keeper of memories, carrying them through blood, through breastmilk, through body essences, floating the old road rivers back to primordial oceans, connecting us to the birth waters of that First Woman, our original ancestor. Water held us in the womb, when we were just small slick fish, developing in our mother’s darkness. Here, water nourished us, resourced us in the development of our bony scaffolding. Here, water cradled us in the in-between, the liminal dreaming of moving from spirit to form. Here, water taught us about safety, peace, the power of gestation and a good, deep rest. 

The Water element is associated with the Kidney meridian, which is the sacred holding ground of our bodies. Kidney energy relates to how we use our vital essence, our fire, our genetic codes. It reflects how we age, how we adapt, and how we understand our limits. When in balanced alignment, our drive, desire, and ambition is linked with the soul needs of our being.

Easier said than done, in my experience. I don’t know if I believe in the existence of some perfect balance—life is too damned nuanced for that. And there is an essential learning we gather in the struggle to discern the limits of our inner resources. There is something to this tussle to know ourselves better.

The latest episode of Woman Who Rubs the Mountain podcast is a full-on Water element love affair. Here are just a few reasons to listen in:

• You dread the dark onset of winter every year and want to learn from this resistance,
• You have been feeling utterly inundated with water in the place where you live and you want to come back into better relationship,
• You are constantly running on a state of being wired but deeply tired, and you want to be reminded that the peace of water is your birthright,
• You need to be nudged into remembering to connect with the waters of the land where you live, 

Or you just want to celebrate the sheer astonishing beauty of water, the way it sparkles and tumbles over itself in the afternoon light.

Feeling into the health of contrast, seeing all kinds of beauty in all seasons, sending you offerings of summer flowers to brighten your winter journey!

Much Love,

Kendra

Excerpt from the January 2023 Newsletter